Thankful Thursdays - Aunt Dawn

Taking Starfish and "Bat Ray" out for a stroll.

Above is Bean, last weekend, with the stroller she conned my sister into buying for her while looking for shoes and the rubber starfish and manta ray they got at Michael's.  My sister, Dawn, was taking care of her so I could travel south for a speech and debate tournament.  She was supposed to be going with me, via car, but we had a rather traumatic end to that idea - which included Bean being locked in a car for about a 1/2 hour, having to be removed by AAA coming to pop the lock.  Embarrassing, yes.  Not as scary as it might sound because Bean loves to drive the car, so she spent most of the 1/2 hour doing just that, snacking on yogurt snacks she pulled out of a bag I had packed for her, etc.  She got a little upset towards the end, but overall she handled it relatively well.  I, on the other hand, had a slight breakdown after we got her out and decided I couldn't really deal with the drive to Southern California.  So, my sister volunteered to keep her for the weekend.  

Dawn has been a lifesaver this year.  With my travel schedule often colliding with Jason's travel schedule, and Bean being at an age where hanging out at a speech and debate tournament all weekend is not all that exciting, there has been a number of weekends where we needed someone to watch the Bean.  And it makes it nice that Bean loves Aunt Dawn - they go to the park, lots of walks and she usually gets to go see Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) while visiting her, they've gone to the zoo, the insect museum at UC Davis, and lots and lots of parks.  I realize that Bean is not an easy child to take care of - she takes multiple medicines multiple times every day (she is much better at this - she often gives them to herself with a little help now), for a while she was snoring like a chainsaw during the night (this has also gotten better - we now think she had a bit of a respiratory infection because once she got on antibiotics, she is sleeping so quietly we often have to check to make sure she is breathing regularly), she is about as belligerent as they come (she is in that stage where she says no to everything - and she has now taken to throwing things when she gets frustrated).  But, Dawn has never complained.  She always says she is good.  She never says anything about her not sleeping well or hogging the bed or kicking her while she is sleeping.  She deals with the fact that I am often an organizational mess and forget a coat or the right shoes or pajamas.  And she never asks me for anything in return.  Its really something that I don't take for granted.  It makes my life so much easier than it would be if I had to take her with me to all these places or find child care for a whole weekend.  

So, today, in honor of what I will call Thankful Thursday, I would like to thank my sister for all she does and all the love she showers on Bean.   As Thanksgiving approaches, I have been thinking about the many, many, many things I have to be thankful for, but this one really jumped out at me as I looked at the picture of Bean above.  So confident, so happy...with the stroller, starfish and bat ray that Aunt Dawn got for her while spending a weekend taking care of her to make my life easier.  Thanks Dawn...it doesn't go unnoticed!

Life is hard....dinner shouldn't be! (Review)

I am constantly struggling with time.  Time to get my work done.  Time to spend with Bean.  Time to do things that I like to do.  Heck, some weeks, I struggle to find time to take a shower!  Because of that, and a little bit of being intimidated by cooking, I am a huge fan of convenience foods.  I often teach classes in the evening or even late into the night and having something quick to fix when I get home is a great benefit.  So, I was excited when I was asked by SocialMoms to test out a new Smart Ones product from Weight Watchers and blog a review! 

I've eaten Smart Ones boxed meals off and on for a while, so I was surprised when I saw the packaging.  The new Smart Ones Satisfying Selections come in a steam-in bag.  Its a pretty large size (see the 30% larger serving note on the packaging) and although the varieties are currently a little limited (there are five varieties available), all of them sounded delicious to me.  I received coupons for two free bags and I chose the Ziti with Meatballs & Cheese and the Chicken Teriyaki Stir Fry.  I was excited to try the Ziti as the picture looked cheesy and had numerous meatballs.  The ease with which I was able to heat it up in the microwave was GREAT!  There was no stopping in the middle, lifting the plastic cover, stirring the product and placing it back in the microwave, only to find that I didn't stir enough so the middle was cold and the outsides were burnt on to the edges.  Instead, you just place the bag in the microwave with the steam side up and start it, not having to stop until its finished.  No stirring.  No dealing with unevenly cooked food.  Just place the bag in the oven and let it steam!  It was, by far, the easiest cooking of a frozen meal I've done.  And I've cooked my share of frozen meals!

Now, I don't know about you, but often the pictures on the packaging for frozen foods are about as close to reality as the shows I watch with Bean on the Sprout network!  They look so appealing when you pull it out of the freezer, but once the box is removed, all appeal is lost.  That was not the case with the Smart Ones Satisfying Selections.  The ziti came out looking like fresh pasta, there were tons of meatballs and the cheese was plentiful as well!  And the taste was very good as well.  I have to admit that I was starving when I made it, which I suppose could influence my opinion of the meal.  But, the meatballs were tastily seasoned, the noodles were soft and fresh and the cheese was plentiful.  It wasn't the best ziti I've ever had, but it is definitely the best tasting frozen food pasta entree I've had.  And again, I've had my share of frozen meals!

I had the Chicken Teriyaki Stir Fry the next day for lunch.  It was also tasty, although not quite as good as the ziti.  The flavor was not quite as good, but the chicken was plentiful (increased protein portion is one of the perks of these selections), the noodles seemed fresh and evenly cooked and there were quite a few veggies in the mix.  I just found the sauce to be a little lacking in taste.  

I have lost about 14 pounds since the beginning of Summer (thanks Hungry Girl) and I was also excited to have new options in the frozen dinner area.  It seems lately that the boxed varieties have shrinking entrees and just are often not that satisfying.  But, these meals are definitely larger (30% larger) and more filling than the boxed varieties I've had lately.  I had a slice of bread with the ziti for a late dinner and it was enough for me to not feel hungry.  The teriyaki at lunch was a pretty perfect lunch portion as well.  For those of you on Weight Watchers, the teriyaki chicken is a 9 point meal and the ziti is a 10 point meal.  Not bad for pasta dishes!  Especially the ziti, which I thought was quite cheesy.  

I would definitely suggest that anyone looking for a good frozen meal that won't kill you in calories to check out the Smart Ones Satisfying Selections! 

This post is part of a SocialMoms product evaluation, for which I’ve been

selected. I’ve been compensated for my time with 6,000 My SocialMoms Rewards

Points. The opinions expressed in this post are mine and don’t necessarily reflect the

opinions of SocialMoms or Heinz.

Happy Halloween Week!

This is coming a bit late, so I'll call it Halloween Week.  I feel like a broken record sometimes, but I've had such a busy couple of months that I am feeling constantly buried.  Too much travel for work means no weekends at home to get caught up with things...a wicked, nasty case of strep throat followed up by a chest cold has not helped things...and seemingly a ton of things to get do get done in our personal lives.  Its all a bit much sometimes.  But, I seem to have been able to fight off the latest cold and Bean has amazingly not caught any of the bugs that have been moving through my classes, team and our home!  Thank goodness.  

As you can see from the picture, Bean went as a purple butterfly for Halloween this year.  She refused to wear her antennae, so she looked more like a ballerina with wings, but it wasn't worth the fight.  She loved trick or treating, saying "more candy" after we left each house.  It helped that we don't have many trick or treaters in our neighborhood so people were more than happy to give her multiple pieces of candy.  She doesn't really eat the candy, so I'm not sure why she was so demanding of more, but she loves to dump out her bag and look at all the different kinds of candy she has. And the pile is slowly disappearing, thanks to those of us around the house who would rather eat than look at it!  :)  

Bean is very much into Music Together class right now.  We dressed up at the last class and the kids were all very cute.  Here is Bean during the instrument play part of the class:

We missed out on the downtown Treat Street festivities because she fell asleep on the way there and proceeded to nap for two hours.  Oh well...maybe next year.  She also refused to have her picture taken with the extremely cute backdrop the Chico Mothers Club had at the Halloween Party.  Sad, but true.  

I can't believe it is November already.  I have the Great Debate all day tomorrow at City Council Chambers, we go to Northridge next weekend for our last tournament of the semester, and then the Rookie Tournament and Nervous Novice Tournament on campus the first weekend of December.  I'm exhausted thinking about it, but such is life.  

I am looking forward to the week off for Thanksgiving, but Bean will have her biopsy at Stanford on Tuesday of that week, so it won't be a total week of peace.  Hopefully things go smoothly for the biopsy and she isn't too upset by the whole experience.  We still haven't settled on a plan for Thanksgiving and Christmas and where we'll be and for how long...another challenge to figure out in the coming weeks!  

I hope all of you had a fantastic week, whether celebrating Halloween or just getting ready for the coming holidays!  Its just starting to get cold (and maybe even some rain) here.  I'm ready for the season change - looking forward to dressing warm, watching all the leaves turn, and even some rain!  I'm sure I will be complaining about it in a few weeks, but for now, the change sounds good!

We're the lucky ones...

Driving the 12-passenger...let's go people!

Sometimes it catches me off guard.  I catch a glimpse of her smile or hear her laugh and I am amazed at how lucky we are to have her.  This becomes especially acute when I read about other heart babies or transplant recipients who are struggling with health issues or financial issues or insurance issues.   We are truly the lucky ones...I just like to publicly say that every once in a while to make sure everyone knows that I realize it...even if I don't always sound positive about things.  My last post was kind of a downer, so this one is aimed at turning that around a bit!

Last week we had our heart clinic visit and I am happy to report that all was looking good.  Bean did not enjoy the appointment by any means - there was much tears and "go home"s, but we made it through.  Her echo looked good, she is now officially on the charts for both weight and height (albeit, 3% for height and 8% for weight, but hey, its on the charts!), and her pulse ox was 97%.  Her BP was a bit high, but understandable with all the screaming and carrying on she was doing.  I thought she may be a bit better because she has been using her doctor's kit at home and taking our blood pressure pretty regularly, but it just wasn't the same.  So, I think the BP was not very accurate of what she usually is.  We have to schedule the next biopsy - probably for around Thanksgiving - and we had to go up slightly on her prograf because her count was a little lower than they like to see it.  We will get another blood test in another week or so to see if that fixed the level or has overshot their goals.

About town in Chico...she is ready and set to go!

Other than that, she has been insanely into sea life ever since our vacations to the aquariums.  She used to be in love with starfish and although she still likes them and jellyfish, her new favorite is what she calls the "bat ray!"  Its really more like a manta ray, but she calls it all rays "bat rays!"  I put the exclamation point there because she really can't say it without exclaiming it.  She wants everyone to draw them (I have become pretty decent at it if I say so myself), she wants to see pictures of them, she would like to have books about them.  I have found a few books at our library about sea life that have pictures of rays and entire books about starfish and jellyfish, but she would really like an entire book about "bat rays!"  We'll keep looking...in the meantime, she watches a documentary on American aquariums that I found on Netflix quite regularly and exclaims "bat ray!" every time one appears on the screen.  She's just a little bit obsessed...

We are in the second season of Music Together class and she still loves it.  The first class was a bit traumatizing for her because she, like her father, is a creature of habit.  She did not react well when the "marching song" was not played and the instrumental we play instruments along with was not the usual "twinkle, twinkle".  The songs change for each season and she had become quite infatuated with the routine we had established with the old songs.  So, she cried.  She screamed "MARCHING SONG!" repeatedly during another song.  She cried some more.  She whined "twinkle, twinkle?" during the new instrumental and refused to play an instrument.  It was quite dramatic.  But, the instructor of the class is awesome at handling the less-than-perfect behavior and was very understanding (thanks Tanya!) and she made it through.  We had a little talk before the next class about how the songs might be different, but we could still march and gallop and play instruments, just to different songs and she was much better the second and third classes.  She asks pretty much everyday if we are going to "masick" class, so she obviously loves it, marching song or no marching song!

The last thing I will say about Bean is that in the two years since she came home to Chico with us (can not believe it has been two years...where does time go?), she has been a true joy for us.  She is a source of constant entertainment (even more so now that she can tell stories...which are often hilarious and totally embellished with dramatic plot lines not based in reality), constant love (my favorite is when I pick her up to carry her upstairs to bed and she sleepily pats my back as if to say "good job Mom"), and constant adventure (a trip to the store or even a ride in the car becomes an eye-opening experience when you have a two year old along for the ride).  She has started to fall in love with game playing - she "plays" Yahtzee! - which to her means rolling the dice and then turning all the die over to the five and then saying "mommy, mommy - look!" and I say, "Wow -you got all fives!  That's a Yahtzee!" and she says, "Yahtzee!" and we start all over again.  She also knows what the name of the little gray figure is in Settlers of Catan (the robber, for those who don't know) and she knows that Daddy always plays with orange (when he was gone, someone else played with orange and she pointed to the pieces and said "Daddy's").  Her new favorite shows (other than the aquarium documentary) are Caillou and The Wiggles (which is actually an old favorite that she has brought back for an encore).  She still loves Max and Ruby, but seems to have lost some interest in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (although she still loves her Mickey Mouse books and her Mickey and Minnie stuffed animals).  She still says "songs!" every time she gets in the car, even though I think I'm the only one who liberally gives into the request each and every time.

Even though I haven't had any kids before her, I know these are special times that will soon be gone.  In their place will be other special times, but none exactly like these.  So, I'm trying to savor some of these times, commit to memory some of the funny stuff that happens and live for the moment as much as I can.  I don't want to miss out on anything, and although I'm looking forward to the future pre-school years, these toddler times are pretty hard to beat!

Thanks to everyone who has followed Bean's story thus far and continues to read.  Thanks to new readers who have hopped on to hear a story or two.  It really is something special to have her around and I don't take that miracle for granted...not for one day, not for one hour!  Maybe for a minute or two every once in a while...no one's perfect!

Loathing Fear in Chico

Here is a great picture of Bean at the park this morning splashing in the water that was pooling up in the bottom of the giant sandbox.  It has a faucet up on top of a little hill that sends water cascading down the rock structure and into the sand below.  She absolutely loved it.  And although it was a bit warm today for the month of September (9 degrees over the norm I heard), it was a great park visit.  I thought we were in for a great day.  Boy, was I wrong!

I had to return the rental van from this weekend's debate trip, which meant moving Bean's car seat from our car into the 12 passenger, driving to Enterprise and sitting around for about a 1/2 hour waiting for a ride home.  Bean was actually really good during the wait, but it was still a wait I could have done without.  Especially when my phone died as soon as I sat down, so I couldn't access email or get anything done while I was there.  We finally got a ride home and I really thought that Bean would take a nap, but it just wasn't in the cards.  It seems more and more that she goes without a nap unless she is driven somewhere for a long enough time that she falls asleep.  Which happened a couple of hours later when I was taking her to Kids Park to drop her off.

Last time she was at Kids Park, I left her there for a longer time than usual (about 4 hours total) because I had two work meetings in one morning.  She attended their pre-school from 9 - 10:30 am and that went well, but afterwards, during open play, I guess she was running and bumped heads with another kid and just lost it.  I got a call as I was going into my second meeting saying she was crying and could not be consoled and asking what they could do.  Since I was on my way into a meeting, I was caught off guard and could think of nothing.  Great mom, huh?  Can't think of one thing that consoles my child.  Well, I actually thought of the bottle, because that definitely consoles her.  But, because we have gone to only three bottles a day, I had not taken one with her because her afternoon bottle is not due until 2 p.m. and I would be picking her up at 1 p.m.  I also had forgot to pack a pacifier or any other comforting item.  So, she cried and screamed and threw things I guess.  She finally calmed down after about 10 minutes and she was fine when I went to get her.  BUT...she has a memory like a steel trap and once something settles in there its hard to get rid of it.  So, she has been whining a bit every time I bring up Kids Park.  I really should have known better, but I thought she would get there and realize how fun it is.  I also knew she was super tired today, but I had no other child care options and needed to go to work.  So, I dropped her off about 3:20 pm and headed into work for my 4 p.m. class.  At about 3:45 pm my office phone rang and I immediately recognized the number as Kids Park.  My heart sank...

Sure enough, she had got upset about being left there (even though when I left, she was happy to see me go and gave me a kiss and said good bye...20 minutes earlier...).  This time though, she cried so hard that she made herself sick.  This has been a Bean trait since early on in returning home from the hospital.  It kept me from making her sleep in her crib - the cry it out method made her puke.  And really, she would cry hard enough to throw up even if I was sitting there and just wouldn't pick her up.  She has thrown up in her big girl bed a couple of times from crying so hard.  If I sit and blow in her face repeatedly when she gets that upset, I can usually stop the regurgitation from happening.  But, you can't really make that part of your day care instructions - right?  So, I left work - at first panicking because I thought she was really sick.  I mean stomach flu would be disastrous right now, and she has been sleeping really poorly the last couple of nights.  So, I thought the worse - because FEAR is a constant in my life.  Although we have been incredibly lucky in her not getting sick at all since the transplant (knock on wood), she is on immuno-suppressants and she has not had her flu shot yet this year.  So, I panicked.  It could have also been the fact that I went to bed at around midnight last night and woke up around 5:00 a.m. this morning, with a wake up scream/cry or two from Bean in the midst of that five hours.  I swear that R.E.M. is only a band name from my youth and not some type of restful sleep that I reach every night.  I feel as though sleep deprivation may be reaching extremes...and the exhaustion makes me act like a hormonal crazy person.  So, I cried, cancelled class and went to Kids Park to get her.  She was still crying when I arrived.  Her face was puffy and red and she was clearly miserable.  But, she had no fever, she was breathing fine and she immediately perked up when she saw me.  She complained of her ear hurting when we were walking to the car, said that she didn't want me at work, and promptly said she wanted french fries.  At this point, I am definitely not happy.  I feel guilty - why didn't I just hire her babysitter to come over - who she loves?  To save $2.50 an hour?  To "socialize" her, when I am convinced that much of that socialization is just teaching her bad habits like screaming, saying no defiantly or "mine" constantly?  Really, I kind of thought it was a fun place and she seems bored at home so much of the time.  But, I think Kids Park is off the list of places to leave her for a little while.  I just think she's going to be slow to reach a certain level of independence.

And, I guess that's okay.  She was, after all, laying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines and unable to be held or cuddled or loved on for almost the first five months of her life.  But, every time I hear myself saying that or read it as I write it, I think I sound like one of those crazy people who justifies their ridiculous actions by saying that it is because of something that is really not related to the other thing.  I mean, what if the crying until she throws up is just a thing she does because she knows it allows her to get her way?  It seems really extreme...and when she is in the midst of one of these episodes, she really does look uncontrolled.  She looks like she can't stop crying and is really in the middle of something painful.  So, I can't imagine that she does it on purpose.  But, heck, I could just be taken for a ride.  Who knows?  All I know is that I still have the FEAR in the pit of my stomach anytime she even seems like she may be getting sick.  And I LOATHE that FEAR!  But, its not going to go away.  It will never really go away.  Its kind of like a toothache that is always there, but you get so used to it that it doesn't bother you until something cold hits it and then its this shooting pain that is unbearable for a temporary period.  Today was something cold hitting that dull fear and it became unbearable for a temporary period.  But, now its over and we're back to the normal dull fear - we'll go to the eye doctor tomorrow and visit the pediatrician just to make sure nothing serious is going on and next week we'll go to Stanford for clinic and I will hope and trust that everything will come back fine and we will continue on. But, that fear is still there.

Another family that is on a pediatric heart transplant email list with me got a shot of that sharp pain today and it won't be as temporary for them.  Their son, who is now 13, received a heart transplant as an infant and now needs not only a new heart but a new liver as well.  My heart goes out to them...I can relate to their pain.  And I dread the day that I will have to deal with something similar.  And maybe we never will - maybe our luck will hold out and Bean will keep this heart for 20+ years.  But, I guess the point is, we won't know...

Anyways - she is doing well now and I think she is really healthy.  I think just like she is growing physically a bit more slowly than others, she is also growing emotionally a bit more slowly than others and she has hit her point of separation anxiety.  She has also started to show some signs of the "terrible twos" as she gets closer to her third birthday.  So, we may just be running a bit behind schedule with some of these typical "milestones" the parenting books and magazines talk about.  We shall see.  But, for now, we'll just keep on dancing...

Things I Love About Chico #1 - Fantastic Foodiness

Today's post is a bit of a departure from my posts as of late.  I am going to try to increase the number of posts on the blog as well as the diversity of posts - so, if you only read to follow Bean's story, you can skip this one as she is but a bit player in today's post (there are some pics though - she loves to have her picture taken, so its inevitable).  But, I will continue to cover her health care story...I will just be writing other things in between.  I'm going to attempt a blog schedule and my Sundays (when I post on Sunday) will be Things I Love About Chico posts.  Simply because I love Chico and its a good way of introducing my readers to some of the things we get to experience up here in the Northern Northern California area! 

I am getting ready to head out to my third Taste of Chico.  For those unfamiliar with this type of event, let me explain.  The city's (and surrounding area's) restaurants, caterers, stores and other businesses set up a booth on downtown streets and provide small "tastings" to ticket holders.  You buy pre-paid punch cards for so many food and drink tastings and the vendors punch them as they provide your tastes.  In addition to the food, there is a beer/wine garden for adult beverage tasting, bands playing all day in multiple places and a lot of coupon/discount offers from many vendors.  Its a really fun and tasty day and you get to sample some food that you might never otherwise know about.  I discovered one of my favorite Chico foods at Taste of Chico two years ago - Bacio's catering and their BBQ chicken or pork sandwich!  I've now eaten multiple things at Bacio's (which has a counter service as well as catering) and all of them have been fantastic - but without Taste of Chico, I may have never eaten there!  This year will be especially nice because it isn't horribly hot (it has often been in the 100s, but right now it is high 70s and at the peak today it will only be 92), which will make the whole experience much more enjoyable!  I can't wait to make a new discovery this year!

Speaking of new food discoveries, I have been participating in Upgraded Living's "Secret Menu" challenge and so far it has been a blast!  Basically, the challenge is to visit 18 local restaurants in the month of September, order the "Secret Menu" item listed in the magazine (some are not actually secrets, but are just the hidden gems on the menu), take pictures and post them on the magazine's Facebook page.  They are giving away $50 gift certificates to each of the restaurants and a $200 cash prize to one participant.  So far, I think I've been to the most places, but its still relatively early in the month.  But, it has been a lot of fun to try new places and new items at old places.  It is amazing how a relatively small city like Chico has so many great places to eat and so many hidden little places around town.  I think I'm close to being half way done with the 18 places and so far there has really only been one thing that I would not get again - and it is not a reflection of the restaurant, but the fact that their item was a gluten-free pizza, which wasn't bad, but not having a gluten allergy, I would prefer my usual pizza crust, thank you!  But, its nice to know there is a pizza option for those with gluten allergies in town!  I have gone to three new places due to the challenge (Donut Rising, Farm Star Pizza and Left Coast Pizza) and ordered a bunch of new and really good items at places I had been before.

Because of these food adventures, Bean has tried some new foods as well.  She really liked the donuts

 and very much enjoyed the dough on the pizza from Farm Star Pizza.

I have always loved the food choices in Chico, but this is bringing me a whole new appreciation for the variety and quality of food here!  Thanks Chico!  I'm not a foodie, but I love food and Chico is perfect for a food-loving non-foodie like me!

Finally, the last food thing I love about Chico is the Saturday Farmers' Market.  Its a year round farmers market with lots of great produce, some specialty food items and great gift possibilities from local artisans. This past weekend, my friend Theresa and I took some photos to give you a "taste" of this local event.  Enjoy!

Milestones Met as Time Flies

September 2009

It sometimes seems like a lifetime ago that we were finally coming home from the Ronald McDonald house in Stanford to a new (to us) home in Chico and life was becoming a new normal.  It wasn't too long before the developmental therapists from our Far Northern Regional Center began to visit once a week.  For Bean, it was play time - she got to play with different toys, sing songs and have someone devote 100% attention to her for an hour.  She loved it.  Our first therapist was pregnant and went on maternity leave...and we were sad.  But, her replacement ended up being great as well and new toys were introduced and the attention was still there, so Bean still loved it.  Watching the therapists was also a benefit to me.  I learned the developmental milestones they were looking for, I learned the toys and activities that would help Bean reach those milestones and I soon acquired toys that worked on the same skills. I wouldn't say that I "worked" with Bean on the skills, but I definitely "played" with Bean in the hopes of her reaching her goals.  And every report, she got closer and closer to her adjusted age (because of her being a preemie, she was adjusted to her gestational age).  

Well, as Bean's third birthday draws nearer (how did that happen?), a bittersweet realization was reached last week as her latest evaluation was being performed.  Bean has officially "caught up" - she is considered normal in almost all areas of development (she is a bit behind in fine motor skills and self-help skills, but these vary greatly by age, so it isn't considered to be a problem as long as they are close to their age)!  At three, the Regional Center transitions clients into the local school district.  But, we will not be transitioning because Bean is now not in need of additional services.  I say bittersweet because the attention and the training was great to have.  I think it really helped me help Bean and to cope with some of her challenges in a constructive way.  I was not afraid to challenge her because I saw her being challenged by someone else and saw her enjoying the challenge.  That confidence is harder to find on your own, I think.  But, I am so very thankful that she has been able to catch up - physically (she is walking normally for her age and she is even on the growth charts for weight now - 3rd to 5th percentile), linguistically (she's actually ahead in this area - not totally shocking since her parents are debate coaches and she spent a considerable amount of time, once out of the hospital, at speech and debate tournaments and even a two week debate camp last summer), and developmentally.  I hear/read so many stories from other families whose children are struggling because of their time in the hospital, their time on the ventilator and their time with a lack of full oxygenation from their heart problems.  We have truly been blessed with Bean rebounding from all those things in a relatively quickly and almost surprising way.  And for that, I am eternally grateful.  

I can not believe that we came home from the Ronald McDonald house almost two years ago!  Those first few months were a blur, but I still remember the incredible feeling of being able to dress Bean up in her flower costume and answer the door for Trick or Treaters in our own home:

In some ways, this seems like a lifetime ago - she has changed so much and done so much.  But, in other ways, it seems like not that long ago.  Last year, she traded in the flower costume for a cow costume and looked like this:

Which is not that dramatic of a change from the previous year...but, here she is a few weeks ago while on vacation:

The star of the show in Gigi's sunglasses...and the change from the previous year is pretty dramatic!  In two years she has gone from a teeny-tiny, tube-fed, broviak line wearing little girl to a now-just-tiny, food eating (and still three bottles a day drinking), line-free little lady!

And we are thankful everyday for her shiny, happy face (even when it isn't so shiny or happy).  She is loving life for the most part as a two year old and has not shown too many signs of the terrible twos yet (we're hoping THIS is not a developmental delay!).  She loves to talk, is really into starfish and jellyfish, can say "leopard shark" clear as day, and has fallen for Kipper the Dog (who can resist that adorable British accent?). She loves to play games, has a memory like no other (much better than mine now, which seems to be going downhill fast), is fascinated by bugs, loves loves loves her Music Together classes ("Songs!" is her first demand upon arriving in her car seat), is outgoing to a fault sometimes (I think she has scared other little kids more than once by barreling up to them and saying "hello" or "hold hand" if they are older kids), would stay in a bathtub overnight if it was allowed (but would demand "more water" intermittently during the night), and has just discovered a love for KidsPark.

Overall, I would say we're living a pretty normal life considering our daughter has a heart from another baby beating inside her right now...she takes medications (only five now) three times a day, she has to have an echocardiogram done about every two months now (something I have never had done in my lifetime - and probably something most of you have not ever had done) and a heart catheterization done about every four months now (something which terrified me the first time she had it done, but has now become quite routine) and we have to be careful of germs, especially during flu season (and flu season cometh...very soon).  Other than that, we're pretty run of the mill.  And that normalcy is pretty much a miracle!  Our miracle...